Thursday, May 31, 2012

He raised the bar.

I am so in need of help as to what to get my husband for Fathers Day and his birthday.  Fathers Day is June 17 and his birthday is June 20.  

I have been racking my brain on what to get him.
First off, as a person who does not work, my funds are crazy limited.  He really went all out for Mothers Day.  I got clothes, shoes, jewelry, tanning package, a weekend of no cooking, and all the loving I could handle from my family.  He definitely raised the bar.  Ideally, I would love to get him a gun but my budget will not allow for the one he has been eyeing.  He is incredibly hard to shop for too. 
He is a guys guy.  He is a country boy.  He is amazing.  He is mine :)
and yet I have no idea what to get this man!

The 5Gs don't really apply to him.  
No Gadgets, its not his thing. Golf, no.  Gift Baskets, impersonal.  Grooming, he is good.  Grill, he is pretty covered.  I thought about getting him a brander with his initials, but honestly, he could make it for less. 


he deserves it.


Tuesday, May 29, 2012

And it went a little something like this...

Our Memorial Weekend was pretty rad.

The hubby has been putting in a ton of hours the last few weeks working and working with little, if any, time off.  We had been looking forward to his weekend so much.  No alarm clocks and not waking up before the sun.  Its something I have to many times before taken for granted.  Spent my whole Friday shopping.  It was crazy out.  It reminded me of a major storm prep.    All the essentials were missing off shelves but instead of toilet paper and flashlights it was like no hot dog buns and no solo cups.  My oh my the weather was humid here.  Also reminded me of before a storm, hmm, my head is very gulf coast right now.  Sidetracking...  

I really wanted to make the jello shooters going around on pinterest that look like watermelons.  I was so stoked about it and even got watermelon flavored vodka.  Let me tell you, a lime is really hard to get right without breaking skin.  It could of been I accidently bought a bag of key limes.  I gave up very quickly on this.  I next went for the oranges, they have got to be easier, right?  Ha!  I partially think I may have just been out of patience from my long day shopping.  I gave up quickly on it too.  My hubby and BIL had to show me up and make it look all easy until I went ahead and finished the oranges.  I am super happy I did too.  Everyone loved them!  They did not make it to a photo.  Sorry.  The last time I had made jello shooters I had got these plastic shot cups that were just long enough to annoy the hell out of you cause you were hurting the bottom of your tongue trying to get it out.  So yea, I got much kudos on the ease of these shooters.  I made some Madagascar jigglers for the kids, they were happy too and didn't even need the vodka :)

So Friday was spent shopping for me, yardwork for the guys.   Blakely had the very important task of being a sweet baby while we finished our to-dos, she rocked that out.

Saturday we fired up the grill early to get the cooking out of the way.  As I have said before, the hubby creates magic on that thing.

3 Racks of Ribs, 2 Pork Shoulders and 1 Brisket later...  oh yeah, and we had dogs and burgers.  Everything was amazing!!  I made my "you don't have to like slaw to love this" coleslaw and my infamous cheese dip and.  I 'wo'manned the magic bullet pumping out frozen margaritas and banana coladas.  So good!

I had my first jello shooter at about 10am so by 10pm, I was ready for bed, I felt so old.  Even more so my lil BIL had his girlfriend and a couple of her friends over.  I felt extremely old at that point.  Some great friends of ours drive down from Louisa and some of our local people came over also.  All in all, it was a really great day filled with amazing food and amazing drinks.

Our Sunday was filled with laziness and left overs.  Also, magical.
We raided Redbox and closed the blinds and laid around all day long.  Blakely stayed naked and was happy for the lounging and constant snuggles.  Her first tooth finally broke through and she is handling teething way better than her big bro did.  

Our Monday...
So for my husband and his family Memorial Day weekend feels more about the memory of his brother.  He and I had met during our senior year of high school but did not really know each other.  He died Memorial Day 2000 when his car hydroplaned and he ran off the road at the age of 19.  I know it is hard for everyone in their family this time of year.  We had his parents and brother over for a delicious dinner and just spent some time together.

Four days went by way to fast!
This morning all I wanted to do was sleep in with the hubby.  Back to work he went though.  To often I take for granted what an amazing man my husband has grown to be.  Then he reminds me, without even trying.  I am one lucky lady to be loved by this man.  He is everything I never even realized I wanted and needed.  ♥

Thursday, May 24, 2012

8, really 8?!!?

Hey Y'all!

Enough with the pleasantries, let's dive right in shall we...

So I have a weight issue.  I am coming to terms with the fact that its serious.  I have never exactly been the skinny you see now a days but I always thought of my self to be skinny back in the day.   When I met my husband is when my weight gain really started in my eyes.  He is an amazing cook and he really liked to show that off back then.  I started seeing the weight I was gaining and started trying to lose weight.  I was doing really well and found out I was pregnant with my son so I had to stop.  Honestly, that was the last time I took trying to lose weight serious, my son is 8 years old now.  I feel like I have set a really bad example for him, weight wise.  He has been gaining the last two years and has some extra chub.  I do not want to pass this struggle on to him.  A change is mandatory.  

My plan was to take the drastic weight loss after having Blakely as motivation to really get moving.  I was losing weight for a while.  Then I started my bout with extreme anxiety and moments of depression, packin them lbs right back on.  My weight has actually rose to within a pound of what I was when I went into the hospital to deliver.  I had stepped on the Wii fit and balance board did that "Ooh" thing it does making you want to throw the remote through the tv.  I hate that so much!  It was like I took it to a real personal level all of a sudden.  I decided it is time to get serious again.  

I planned the day after mothers day would be the beginning of my change.  I feel like I am to big to exercise.  I know how stupid that sounds.  My plan is to just do dietary changes for the first couple weeks then to start working out.  I am to uncomfortable to go to the gym and it is impossible for me to work out at home.  There is always something that needs to be done staring my down.  So for now, I drastically dropped my caloric intake down to about 500 per day.  Let me tell you, it is not easy.  The last two days have been the hardest.  I finally broke down and had a glass of sweet tea.  I think that has been the absolute hardest thing.  I can tell what a difference my water drinking is making for my complexion though and I am loving it.  Something in me is feeling like today will be a lot easier.  I do not plan to do this 500 calories for more than a month.  Just enough to drop some serious lbs and shrink my stomach.  Cause truth be told, I simply eat to much.  I broke down and binged on a bag of Chex mix the other day, then I felt really crappy about myself for the rest of it.  Pretty sure that alone was about 1000 calories.  My point is though, I am trying.  From Monday to Saturday I had lost 8 POUNDS!  How amazing is that!  They say big people lose weight quickly in the beginning though and this was before the sweet tea and chex.  I will weigh again this Saturday.  I am fearful of the holiday weekend.  We are having a two day cookout and I make amazing dips that people expect when that partay round these parts.  The drinking will be hard too.  The hubby is plotting on margaritas, another friend is bringing the ingredients for me to make my famous banana coladas.  I really want to make jello shots in some limes or oranges too, cause they look super cute.  I need to remember that while I am doing a drastic diet right now, it is suppose to be in prep for a true lifestyle change, so I need to learn to use self control, which I am super low on.  

This is not going to be easy but it is so necessary.  If you can take a little moment and say a prayer for me, some strength, self control and belief in myself.  I would really appreciate it.  I promise to keep you posted on how it is going.  Its crazy how writing this, putting this out there, is already making me feel a bit empowered.  Thanks for the love y'all.


Friday, May 18, 2012

Sunny Sweetness

forgive me father bloggers, it has been 6 days since my last confession post.

hope things are going well for you all.  ya know my ten loyal followers ;)

1.  Something that is very near and dear to my heart is,  my relationship with my husband.  We are at such a wonderful place in our marriage and life.

2.     Today is my brother in laws (aka) my husbands best friend (aka) my sons favorite uncle, 19th birthday and that   is good cause to celebrate .

3.  The most fun I ever had was     posting this blog.  Jk.  I seriously have no clue how to narrow down one fun moment in my life.  It just seems like I would be doing wrong by other memories.

4.  True friends are     hard to come by. 

5. Something that makes me terribly happy is       watching Jay and Blakely together.  The relationship these two kiddos have is beautiful.  He looks at her with such love and pride and she the same but with this amazement and idolization to boost.  It is a wonderful thing to witness.

6. A good way to spend a sunny day is     at the lake!  I am missing our lake house so much right now.  A trip to BRS is in our very near future.  

7.  My favorite celebratory food is   usually grilled and accompanied by a cold drink.  It seems like my hubby never misses an opportunity to fire up his grill.  He made it at work one day.  It is pretty badass.  All who have ate off this grill swear it is one of their best meals ever.  Doubters are welcome for dinner.  I am not overweight on accident, we cook amazing around here!

hope you all have a fabulous weekend.


Saturday, May 12, 2012

beyond AMAZING!

My husband is as titled, beyond AMAZING!

We have been pinching pennies more so than usual lately with everything going on with getting our home.  (s/n:the process is taking forever)  He could tell that this momma was in need of a lot.  More so than anything he told me how he could tell that I need to become healthier mentally.  Something we both feel starts physically in my case.  I need to feel better about myself inside and out.  As far as the mental, he works on that everyday.  Constant kisses and even when I know I look a hot mess, he tells me I am beautiful.  The physical, well the hubs decided to spoil me with with some gift cards and a tanning package for mom's day.  He has to give gifts early, I am all over our accounts.  I went out yesterday and killed a gift card.  Feeling good about my warm time wardrobe and my super cute wedges.  I still have more shopping to do too!  I gave him a little fashion show last night and heard him not just tell me I was beautiful, but gave me the 
"You look hot!"
Score!  Now that's what I am talking about.

thanks for being my reason to smile Mr. Thompson, 
I love you more every and more every day.  


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Smiles all the way

Hello darlin!
Hope everyone had themselves a fabulous Monday, although that is probably an oxymoron.  Lil Miss Blakely had her six month shots yesterday.  After the last trip to the doctor I was super nervous.  I thought it would be good to get a before picture.  I was hoping like crazy this smile would remain.  

We went to her doctors other location in hopes it would help keep her calm, guess what, it worked!  THANK GOD!  I do not think either of us would have been able to handle another episode like before.  Our girl is a very healthy 18 pounds and 27 inches long.  The doc did this thing with mine and the hubs height and predicted that Blakely will be at least 5'8'' and Jay will be at least 6'1''.  Both my children are going to tower over me!  I guess that is what I get loving a man who is 13 inches taller than me.  

Blakely's happiness continued throughout the day as I hoped for.  I hope this makes your day a little brighter, cause who does not love some baby giggles!


Monday, May 7, 2012

let it go

Truth be told when I began this blog it was with the intent for the content to be way juicy.  I have all these drafts unfinished.  Some because it was to much for me to process.  Most because it was the realization that I am not ready to publish this info for anyone to see.  My life is full of many regrets.  I try to tell myself that, I am a different person now, these things do not matter.  But they do.  I try to remind myself that, it is only a reminder of how far I come.  But then I think, I could have been much further in life and accomplishments by now.  One of these days I believe I will muster up the courage I need to evict the skeletons from my closet, til then here is a snippet of a past life...

I used to be really close with a friend of mine, we will call her Cici.  I love her tons.  She is hilarious and fun.  She has the crappiest parents which resulted in a lot of hell in her life when she was young.  Cici had three kids by the time she was 21.  In fact she had to go back a month after her last was born to get her tubes ties cause they wouldn't allow her to before she turned 21.  I love her kiddos so much.  That last baby, was my baby.  I was referred to as his other momma.   

My husband and I had just moved out of the place we were renting out in the sticks that happened to be to close to people we needed to cut from our life.  Our new place wasn't ready yet so we moved our stuff in to storage.  Cici had just moved into a new place about five minutes from the hubs shop and offered to let us stay there while we waited for our place.  We were there about three weeks.  All this was right after the birth of her third baby.  It was the longest three weeks. 

Cici had just had some dental surgery.  The dentist prescribed her Oxycontin for pain.  For someone with an addictive personality, that was a stupid move. Very soon she began abusing it.  Taking more than recommended.  Breaking them.  Crushing and snorting them.  This lead to a huge problem.  I started recognizing how rapidly bad it was getting.  Not eating or sleeping for days at a time.  I talked with her and she broke down.  She didn't know what to do.  She had done coke more times than she could count but had never felt so helpless to something.  The house went on lock down.  She began to detox.  I took care of her kids while she laid in bed sick.  I held her hair back when needed and held her hand and promised her we would make it through.  There were many tears.  We were about four rough days in and things were seeming to be better.  I had to leave out for a few hours and when I returned her mom was there.  

Her mother, ughhhh!  An old coke head for sure.  Her boyfriend was an addict so much so that he took daily trips to the methadone clinic.  Since this was around Thanksgiving the clinic would be closed for a few days so they would give people enough doses to last them through til they opened again.  She said how she couldn't stand to see her daughter sick so she had brought her some methadone.  Undoing all that had been done.  The high she had been wanting so bad was now there.  I lost.  I knew that if this was her path that she was choosing, we could not be there.  My child is my number one.  This timed perfectly with our new place being ready. 

She would call.  I would avoid her.  Her boyfriend had told me how bad it had got.  She began to use heroin cause it was the easiest to get.  They were no longer together now.  He told me that she robbed the place he had moved in to in order to feed her addiction.    I ran into her and she told me how she had just got out of the hospital.  In a matter of a month she had become completely strung out on heroin.  Lost crazy weight.  Lost custody of her children.  Contracted hepatitis.  Her liver began to fail her and she was hospitalized for it and jaundice.  She swore to me she was trying to get better.  I did not see her again for a while...

This time I ran into her at a gas station.  She was even smaller now.  She had track marks all over her arms.  This once gorgeous girl was now hard to look at.  She was dope sick and waiting there for her dealer.  She told me how sorry she was.  How desperately she wanted her life to change but knew she was not strong enough to make that change.  I hugged her.  I told her I loved her.  I walked away hoping it was not the last time I would see her.

My husband had ran into her a few times at a gas station near his work.  Sometimes she would seem better.  Other times, she could hardly stand up.

She moved away from here to get the fresh start she needed.
Her father had a bad motorcycle accident and so she started making her way to this area a lot on weekends and such.  Her new life still going well.

I had checked out at the grocery store the other day and was grabbing a couple movies from redbox when my phone rang.  She said she wasn't far, wait there.  So I did.  It had been years since we have seen each other.  I watched from my truck as she put her long sleeve shirt on in 85 degree weather to cover the marks on her arms.  She looked smaller than I had ever seen her.  Her eyes could hardly focus on me as we spoke.  She said after her fathers accident she began to use again.  Only on weekends though, as though that made it okay.  Her life was still in tact at home.  She works for a doctors office and has her own super nice place still.  She just bought a new car.  Her life is good.  Do not worry.  

I love who she used to be.  That is the person I want to remember, but I cannot.  It is clouded by this 90 pound, marked up person that stood in front of me swearing she is okay as though she was not trying to convince just me but herself too.  I know this is it.  I feel the next time I see her, will be at her funeral.  It has been weighing on me so hard the last three days.  I have prayed many times for her.  I pray I am wrong.  I pray she will be better.  I pray she will find the help she needs.  I pray her children forgive her.  I pray she asks God to forgive her.  I pray she is able to forgive herself.     

I hugged her, told her I loved her and to be careful.

I said my goodbye.


Friday, May 4, 2012

BLANKS, Blanks, blanks

Hey Y'all!  Its FRIDAY!!! 
So onto the only thing I have been consistent with, time to fill in some blanks... 

1.  My bedtime routine includes,   turning off Jays tv that he feel asleep to, pulling the blankets up high on Blakely and crawling into my cold bed.  Once there I remember all those girly things I am suppose to of done, told you here I have to put effort into all that.  Then I wipe my face with my make up cloth and put on some moisturizer and hope my anxiety doesn't keep me up.  

2.   I am     stressed, anxious and all that jazz here lately.  I think once everything gets completely finalized with the house it will ease up.  

3.  I can't stand     dog hair       because     no matter how hard I try it is still all over my house.  With a nearly crawling baby, I may have just had enough.

4. My idea of relaxation would be       an hour of silence.  With a six month old and homeschooling an 8 year old, there are no quiet moments.  Most days I feel like I get mommied to death.  I know very soon I will be missing this but right now I would give anything for just some silence.     

5. If I had an extra $50, I would     buy some silence, just kidding!   I  really want to get crafty.  I would blow every cent at Micheals.   

6. The best thing about a bloggy friend is      it gives you the chance to really know someone, its not a sugar coated facebook status.  I do not really have any bloggy friends, but I do have a pretty sweet cousin I have learned so much about and its made me feel a lot closer to that side of my family.  If you are reading this, you wanna be my bloggy friend   ;)

7.  A recipe I've been dying to try is    well after Lauren mentioned Banana-Coconut Beignets with Chocolate Ganache, I really want to try that.  Aside from that I have actually been trying alot of the recipes I see on Pinterest lately.  One thing I really want to try is getting into the crock pot meals.  Between Scouts and Baseball our weeknights get full and I really need to plan some stuff out.

thanks for reading.
you can play along with Fill in the Blank Friday too 
over at The Little Things We Do blog. 


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Half Birthday ♥

Today is lil Miss Blakely's half birthday!
I decided I would take her outside, in my yard that needs to be cut some kinda bad, and take some photos to mark this day.
She was so psyched for her little mini photo session.

this one here is my fave.  at six months her hand is always in her mouth, this seemed to be the most natural pose.  then she got diva on me...
a little bit of duck face...
followed by, i am to cute to smile...

then the, i am to good to look at your camera... but
seriously, are her eyes not just ridiculously gorgeous!?!
and then the, just kidding with you momma!

lydia & blakely too!