8, really 8?!!?

Hey Y'all!

Enough with the pleasantries, let's dive right in shall we...

So I have a weight issue.  I am coming to terms with the fact that its serious.  I have never exactly been the skinny you see now a days but I always thought of my self to be skinny back in the day.   When I met my husband is when my weight gain really started in my eyes.  He is an amazing cook and he really liked to show that off back then.  I started seeing the weight I was gaining and started trying to lose weight.  I was doing really well and found out I was pregnant with my son so I had to stop.  Honestly, that was the last time I took trying to lose weight serious, my son is 8 years old now.  I feel like I have set a really bad example for him, weight wise.  He has been gaining the last two years and has some extra chub.  I do not want to pass this struggle on to him.  A change is mandatory.  

My plan was to take the drastic weight loss after having Blakely as motivation to really get moving.  I was losing weight for a while.  Then I started my bout with extreme anxiety and moments of depression, packin them lbs right back on.  My weight has actually rose to within a pound of what I was when I went into the hospital to deliver.  I had stepped on the Wii fit and balance board did that "Ooh" thing it does making you want to throw the remote through the tv.  I hate that so much!  It was like I took it to a real personal level all of a sudden.  I decided it is time to get serious again.  

I planned the day after mothers day would be the beginning of my change.  I feel like I am to big to exercise.  I know how stupid that sounds.  My plan is to just do dietary changes for the first couple weeks then to start working out.  I am to uncomfortable to go to the gym and it is impossible for me to work out at home.  There is always something that needs to be done staring my down.  So for now, I drastically dropped my caloric intake down to about 500 per day.  Let me tell you, it is not easy.  The last two days have been the hardest.  I finally broke down and had a glass of sweet tea.  I think that has been the absolute hardest thing.  I can tell what a difference my water drinking is making for my complexion though and I am loving it.  Something in me is feeling like today will be a lot easier.  I do not plan to do this 500 calories for more than a month.  Just enough to drop some serious lbs and shrink my stomach.  Cause truth be told, I simply eat to much.  I broke down and binged on a bag of Chex mix the other day, then I felt really crappy about myself for the rest of it.  Pretty sure that alone was about 1000 calories.  My point is though, I am trying.  From Monday to Saturday I had lost 8 POUNDS!  How amazing is that!  They say big people lose weight quickly in the beginning though and this was before the sweet tea and chex.  I will weigh again this Saturday.  I am fearful of the holiday weekend.  We are having a two day cookout and I make amazing dips that people expect when that partay round these parts.  The drinking will be hard too.  The hubby is plotting on margaritas, another friend is bringing the ingredients for me to make my famous banana coladas.  I really want to make jello shots in some limes or oranges too, cause they look super cute.  I need to remember that while I am doing a drastic diet right now, it is suppose to be in prep for a true lifestyle change, so I need to learn to use self control, which I am super low on.  


This is not going to be easy but it is so necessary.  If you can take a little moment and say a prayer for me, some strength, self control and belief in myself.  I would really appreciate it.  I promise to keep you posted on how it is going.  Its crazy how writing this, putting this out there, is already making me feel a bit empowered.  Thanks for the love y'all.


xo♥xo♥
lydia